THE ONLY THING NEW ABOUT THE YEAR IS THE CALENDAR

On the first day of January, a lot of people scripted beautiful tales about behavioural changes they were going to make. Did those survive the first week? In most cases, the answer is a firm No.

Kunle has gone back to slouching, full time.

Bolanle still doesn't wash his hands regularly. He first learned to do so, and continued briefly when everyone was scared of Ebola. He even joined the salt-water bath wagon that funny morning. This new year was going to make him a health-conscious guy. Now, na wash hard pass. Even after going to toilet, this basic act seems like too much to ask.

Caro still feels her body is more necessary than her mind. Well, that's for Caro. she thinks my hips and hers are in the same category.

Uchechi still bites her nails. I don't know which part of her brain we might need to shut-down to stop this her unhealthy.

Aisha still talks a lot, and nothing slows her down, even a mouthful of food.

Me, I've had decided to write at least 400 words everyday yet all I can do is sit here and imagine your ugly face as you read this.

Ikenna who delivers my daily serving of national gist had promised not to spread gossip. As we speak, no so so rumour him de broadcast for BBM.

Ifeanyi still thinks he should lecture everyone about everything they're doing wrong every time. Why you no go be pastor at once? If we need the sermons we'll come to church.

I had also resolved to stop pressing the snooze button on my alarm. Well, I did stop that one successfully. These days, instead of letting an alarm torture my life, I threw out the alarm clock altogether. Yes, I'm that smart.

Halima still forgets everybody's birthday.

And You, yes you still spit in public.

I do not forget and I'm coming to catch you.