Wednesday, January 28, 2015
“I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas: It brings people together while time stands still. Cozy couples lazily meandered the streets and children trudged sleds and chased snowballs. No one seemed to be in a rush to experience anything other than the glory of the day, with each other, whenever and however it happened.” ― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
“I think more people would stay active in church, if they didn't get so offended by the actions of members. Sometimes, you have to view places of worship as free mental health clinics, in order to deal with the piety or hypocrisy. Parishioners are a wounded souls in various stages of healing, who are being treated by angels, with credentials from the University of Hard Knocks. Some take their therapy seriously and try to practice what they learned. Yet, others down the sacrament like a healing dose of Prozac, with no other effort required. When you keep this in mind, you won't feel so annoyed by the personalities you encounter.” ― Shannon L. Alder
“Attitude Is Everything We live in a culture that is blind to betrayal and intolerant of emotional pain. In New Age crowds here on the West Coast, where your attitude is considered the sole determinant of the impact an event has on you, it gets even worse.In these New Thought circles, no matter what happens to you, it is assumed that you have created your own reality. Not only have you chosen the event, no matter how horrible, for your personal growth. You also chose how you interpret what happened—as if there are no interpersonal facts, only interpretations. The upshot of this perspective is that your suffering would vanish if only you adopted a more evolved perspective and stopped feeling aggrieved. I was often kindly reminded (and believed it myself), “there are no victims.” How can you be a victim when you are responsible for your circumstances? When you most need validation and support to get through the worst pain of your life, to be confronted with the well-meaning, but quasi-religious fervor of these insidious half-truths can be deeply demoralizing. This kind of advice feeds guilt and shame, inhibits grieving, encourages grandiosity and can drive you to be alone to shield your vulnerability.” ― Sandra Lee Dennis
“Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person's sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they're taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment - just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity! - an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exultation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and accept their real ego as their standard of value. They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem .. Love is our response to our highest values - and can be nothing else.” ― Ayn Rand
“How do you defeat terrorism? Don’t be terrorized.”
Salman Rushdie, Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992-2002
Peter Godwin, When a Crocodile Eats the Sun: A Memoir of Africa
“I feel to that the gap between my new life in New York and the
situation at home in Africa is stretching into a gulf, as Zimbabwe
spirals downwards into a violent dictatorship. My head bulges with the
effort to contain both worlds. When I am back in New York, Africa
immediately seems fantastical – a wildly plumaged bird, as exotic as it
is unlikely.
Most of us struggle in life to maintain the illusion of control, but in Africa that illusion is almost impossible to maintain. I always have the sense there that there is no equilibrium, that everything perpetually teeters on the brink of some dramatic change, that society constantly stands poised for some spasm, some tsunami in which you can do nothing but hope to bob up to the surface and not be sucked out into a dark and hungry sea. The origin of my permanent sense of unease, my general foreboding, is probably the fact that I have lived through just such change, such a sudden and violent upending of value systems.
In my part of Africa, death is never far away. With more Zimbabweans dying in their early thirties now, mortality has a seat at every table. The urgent, tugging winds themselves seem to whisper the message, memento mori, you too shall die. In Africa, you do not view death from the auditorium of life, as a spectator, but from the edge of the stage, waiting only for your cue. You feel perishable, temporary, transient. You feel mortal.
Maybe that is why you seem to live more vividly in Africa. The drama of life there is amplified by its constant proximity to death. That’s what infuses it with tension. It is the essence of its tragedy too. People love harder there. Love is the way that life forgets that it is terminal. Love is life’s alibi in the face of death.
For me, the illusion of control is much easier to maintain in England or America. In this temperate world, I feel more secure, as if change will only happen incrementally, in manageable, finely calibrated, bite-sized portions. There is a sense of continuity threaded through it all: the anchor of history, the tangible presence of antiquity, of buildings, of institutions. You live in the expectation of reaching old age.
At least you used to.
But on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, those two states of mind converge. Suddenly it feels like I am back in Africa, where things can be taken away from you at random, in a single violent stroke, as quick as the whip of a snake’s head. Where tumult is raised with an abruptness that is as breathtaking as the violence itself. ”
Most of us struggle in life to maintain the illusion of control, but in Africa that illusion is almost impossible to maintain. I always have the sense there that there is no equilibrium, that everything perpetually teeters on the brink of some dramatic change, that society constantly stands poised for some spasm, some tsunami in which you can do nothing but hope to bob up to the surface and not be sucked out into a dark and hungry sea. The origin of my permanent sense of unease, my general foreboding, is probably the fact that I have lived through just such change, such a sudden and violent upending of value systems.
In my part of Africa, death is never far away. With more Zimbabweans dying in their early thirties now, mortality has a seat at every table. The urgent, tugging winds themselves seem to whisper the message, memento mori, you too shall die. In Africa, you do not view death from the auditorium of life, as a spectator, but from the edge of the stage, waiting only for your cue. You feel perishable, temporary, transient. You feel mortal.
Maybe that is why you seem to live more vividly in Africa. The drama of life there is amplified by its constant proximity to death. That’s what infuses it with tension. It is the essence of its tragedy too. People love harder there. Love is the way that life forgets that it is terminal. Love is life’s alibi in the face of death.
For me, the illusion of control is much easier to maintain in England or America. In this temperate world, I feel more secure, as if change will only happen incrementally, in manageable, finely calibrated, bite-sized portions. There is a sense of continuity threaded through it all: the anchor of history, the tangible presence of antiquity, of buildings, of institutions. You live in the expectation of reaching old age.
At least you used to.
But on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, those two states of mind converge. Suddenly it feels like I am back in Africa, where things can be taken away from you at random, in a single violent stroke, as quick as the whip of a snake’s head. Where tumult is raised with an abruptness that is as breathtaking as the violence itself. ”
“Except for the sound of the rain, on the road, on the roofs, on the umbrella, there was absolute silence: only the dying moan of the sirens continued for a moment or two to vibrate within the ear. It seemed to Scobie later that this was the ultimate border he had reached in happiness: being in darkness, alone, with the rain falling, without love or pity.”
Graham Greene, The Heart of the Matter
“No other continent has endured such an unspeakably bizarre combination of foreign thievery and foreign goodwill.”
Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible
“Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that's the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing. Nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him if he gives too much.”
Alan Paton, Cry, the Beloved Country
Monday, January 26, 2015
“I have loved no part of the world like this and I have loved no women as I love you. You're my human Africa. I love your smell as I love these smells. I love your dark bush as I love the bush here, you change with the light as this place does, so that one all the time is loving something different and yet the same. I want to spill myself out into you as I want to die here.”
Graham Greene, The End of the Affair
“If I know a song of Africa, of the giraffe and the African new moon lying on her back, of the plows in the fields and the sweaty faces of the coffee pickers, does Africa know a song of me? Will the air over the plain quiver with a color that I have had on, or the children invent a game in which my name is, or the full moon throw a shadow over the gravel of the drive that was like me, or will the eagles of the Ngong Hills look out for me?”
Karen Blixen
“During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”
Nelson Mandela
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you
simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do
not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or
you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate
that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
Bob Marley
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can
completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve
never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and
actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that
will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many
disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful
happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share
in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you
are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do
they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough,
but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that
make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure,
jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.
You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you
because they love you for who you are. The things that seem
insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become
invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s
like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant.
Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or
didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you
through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In
their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you
find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never
interested you before become fascinating because you know they are
important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this
person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring
them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on
the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be
broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy
that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to
feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in
knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain
loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and
worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a
part of your life.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
Gautama Buddha
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are
connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a
thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each
other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same
reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten
thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”
Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas
“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand &
the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words
for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me
while you sleep & there are no words for that.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if
you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will
become what he ought to be and could be.”
a brief touch of headlines
WEATHER: It's SNOW Time!
MIA
Miss Universe 2015
Weather Nyc
Weather Channel
SAG Awards
Royal Rumble 2015
Debbie Reynolds
School Closings
Hassan Whiteside
Josh Gordon
Ariel Winter
Gabriel Paulista
King Abdullah
FA Cup
Buhari's Certificate
Which of these matter to you and why?
MIA
Miss Universe 2015
Weather Nyc
Weather Channel
SAG Awards
Royal Rumble 2015
Debbie Reynolds
School Closings
Hassan Whiteside
Josh Gordon
Ariel Winter
Gabriel Paulista
King Abdullah
FA Cup
Buhari's Certificate
Which of these matter to you and why?
Vincent van Gogh
“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and
whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what
is done in love is well done.”
Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.”
Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Head
“If you're reading this...
Congratulations, you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.”
Congratulations, you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.”
Maya Angelou
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
Langston Hughes
“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we
strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better
too.”
Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 6: Fables and Reflections
“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Suze Orman
“If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Insurance companies sell what might happen tomorrow. Historians sell what certainly happened yesterday.”
Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead
“You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”
John F. Kennedy
“We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts,
foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation
that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an
open market is a nation that is afraid of its people."
[Remarks on the 20th Anniversary of the Voice of America; Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, February 26, 1962]”
[Remarks on the 20th Anniversary of the Voice of America; Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, February 26, 1962]”
Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
“Would you like to know your future?
If your answer is yes, think again. Not knowing is the greatest life motivator.
So enjoy, endure, survive each moment as it comes to you in its proper sequence -- a surprise.”
If your answer is yes, think again. Not knowing is the greatest life motivator.
So enjoy, endure, survive each moment as it comes to you in its proper sequence -- a surprise.”
Criss Jami, Killosophy
“Popular culture is a place where pity is called compassion, flattery is
called love, propaganda is called knowledge, tension is called peace,
gossip is called news, and auto-tune is called singing.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
“I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.”
Charles Dickens, The Old Curiosity Shop
“It is a pleasant world we live in, sir, a very pleasant world. There
are bad people in it, Mr. Richard, but if there were no bad people,
there would be no good lawyers.”
Ernie Banks
"Loyalty and friendship, which is to me the same, created all the wealth that I've ever thought I'd have.
Ernie Banks"
"You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace."
"People ask me a lot about the values I got from playing for the Cubs for so many years. The value I got out of it was patience. A lot of people these days are not very patient."
Ernie Banks"
"You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace."
"People ask me a lot about the values I got from playing for the Cubs for so many years. The value I got out of it was patience. A lot of people these days are not very patient."
Friday, January 23, 2015
ON THE NEWS TODAY....
PRO-Russian rebels in eastern Ukraine have rejected a previously signed peace deal and launched a new multi-pronged offensive against government troops.
RUSSIANS love their mother country so much, they’re prepared to go hungry for it, according to one of the nation’s top leaders.
Islamic State militants claim to have executed Japanese hostages Kenji Goto Jogo and Haruna Yukawa
PPPRA Insists FG Subsidises Petrol even with crude oil sold below $50 per barrel and at N87 per litre of petrol in Nigeria
Nigerian Military Plans Comprehensive Operation Against Boko Haram
Greek leftist widens poll lead, says to end 'humiliation'
Greek Election Battle in Final Days With Radical Syriza Leading
U.S.-Cuba Talks Conclude in Havana
Liverpool vs Bolton: Emile Heskey has Reds in sights after his surprise return
Ex-MLBer Ted Lilly charged with insurance fraud
Obama looks to India trip to cement friendship
Big mortgage investors take first step toward suing Ocwen
Odds in favour of Buhari: Finally, Buhari faces an incumbent President, Goodluck Jonathan, who may be having problems with economic and security issues.
The Boy Next Door
Ernie Banks, Hopeful Mr. Cub, Dies at 83; His Mantra Was 'Let's Play 2'
For SkyMall
Rocket Fizz
RUSSIANS love their mother country so much, they’re prepared to go hungry for it, according to one of the nation’s top leaders.
Islamic State militants claim to have executed Japanese hostages Kenji Goto Jogo and Haruna Yukawa
PPPRA Insists FG Subsidises Petrol even with crude oil sold below $50 per barrel and at N87 per litre of petrol in Nigeria
Nigerian Military Plans Comprehensive Operation Against Boko Haram
Greek leftist widens poll lead, says to end 'humiliation'
Greek Election Battle in Final Days With Radical Syriza Leading
U.S.-Cuba Talks Conclude in Havana
Liverpool vs Bolton: Emile Heskey has Reds in sights after his surprise return
Ex-MLBer Ted Lilly charged with insurance fraud
Obama looks to India trip to cement friendship
Big mortgage investors take first step toward suing Ocwen
Odds in favour of Buhari: Finally, Buhari faces an incumbent President, Goodluck Jonathan, who may be having problems with economic and security issues.
The Boy Next Door
Ernie Banks, Hopeful Mr. Cub, Dies at 83; His Mantra Was 'Let's Play 2'
For SkyMall
Rocket Fizz
Wole Soyinka
“Well, some people say I'm pessimistic because I recognize the eternal
cycle of evil. All I say is, look at the history of mankind right up to
this moment and what do you find?”
“The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism.”
“The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism.”
Wole Soyinka, The Lion and the Jewel
“Romance is the sweetening of the soul
With fragrance offered by the stricken heart.”
With fragrance offered by the stricken heart.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
“America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly
poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. To quote the
American humorist Kin Hubbard, 'It ain’t no disgrace to be poor, but it
might as well be.' It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor,
even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk
traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and
therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales
are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their
betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man
who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking
this cruel question: 'if you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?' There
will also be an American flag no larger than a child’s hand – glued to a
lollipop stick and flying from the cash register.
Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously untrue. Their most destructive untruth is that it is very easy for any American to make money. They will not acknowledge how in fact hard money is to come by, and, therefore, those who have no money blame and blame and blame themselves. This inward blame has been a treasure for the rich and powerful, who have had to do less for their poor, publicly and privately, than any other ruling class since, say Napoleonic times. Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent, is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.”
Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously untrue. Their most destructive untruth is that it is very easy for any American to make money. They will not acknowledge how in fact hard money is to come by, and, therefore, those who have no money blame and blame and blame themselves. This inward blame has been a treasure for the rich and powerful, who have had to do less for their poor, publicly and privately, than any other ruling class since, say Napoleonic times. Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent, is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.”
George Carlin
“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country
“And on the subject of burning books: I want to congratulate librarians,
not famous for their physical strength or their powerful political
connections or their great wealth, who, all over this country, have
staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove
certain books from their shelves, and have refused to reveal to thought
police the names of persons who have checked out those titles.
So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.”
So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.”
Miles Davis, Miles: The Autobiography
“It’s like, how did Columbus discover America when the Indians were
already here? What kind of shit is that, but white people’s shit?”
Chris Rock
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of
arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most
powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I
say more?”
Kristin Cashore
“Q: Why do you use swear words on your blog, but never the F word?
A: Because I'm saving the F word for the day when I write a blog post about the for-profit health insurance industry and the way its CEOs become wealthy by not only preying on, but exacerbating, other people's personal tragedies.
*ahem*
Happy Monday, everyone
A: Because I'm saving the F word for the day when I write a blog post about the for-profit health insurance industry and the way its CEOs become wealthy by not only preying on, but exacerbating, other people's personal tragedies.
*ahem*
Happy Monday, everyone
Ross I. Donaldson, The Lassa Ward: One Man's Fight Against One of the World's Deadliest Diseases
“Seeing modern health care from the other side, I can say that it is
clearly not set up for the patient. It is frequently a poor arrangement
for doctors as well, but that does not mitigate how little the system
accounts for the patient's best interest. Just when you are at your
weakest and least able to make all the phone calls, traverse the maze of
insurance, and plead for health-care referrals is that one time when
you have to — your life may depend on it.”
Dennis Kucinich
“Everyone should have health insurance? I say everyone should have health care. I'm not selling insurance.”
Jarod Kintz, $3.33
“I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best.”
Gen. Muhammadu Buhari
“This generation of Nigerians and indeed the future generation have no
country other than Nigeria, we shall stay and salvage it together!”
Chinua Achebe, There Was A Country: A Personal History of Biafra
“People from different parts of the world can respond to the same story
if it says something to them about their own history and their own
experience.”
Fela Durotoye
“A nation is not defined by its borders or the boundaries of its land
mass Rather, a nation is defined by adverse people who have been unified
by a cause and a value system and who are committed to a vision for the
type of society they wish to live in and give to the future generations
to come.”
Tony Osborg, Can Nigeria Bake Her Own Bread?
“What we now have as a government is a god, built by our mortal hands
and, yet, externally variant in power, always requiring our prayers,
pity and appeals in order to fulfill its supposed purposes.”
“It seems even more worrisome that the world has become even more integrated to the extent that a country that fails to produce its own basic consumables will end up consuming its whole income in outsourcing them.”
“Without doubt, our inability to design and implement a sustainable economic framework has resulted to our present ranking on the globalization index; a precious market to the productive countries.”
“Since Nigeria has refused to fully embrace the present reality as it is, that is; the importance of science and technology, the redundancy of religion, the need for pragmatic international relations, economic reforms, support of entrepreneurship spirit, etc., but rather, has continued to accept the world the way it has choose to see it, that is; the supremacy of supernatural belief over human intelligence, the sacredness of tribalism, the abuse of democratic tenets, inability to appreciate scientific truth, its desire to be lifelong importer of finished products, etc., all of which have become our reality, then one would imagine how soon we can attain self-reliance.”
“Can this Nigeria, without external support, bake her own bread, sew her own garments, drill her own oil, produce her own cars, fly her own planes, design her own cities and, fight her own wars? What can this Nigeria do? Or does development come through stages and Nigeria, unfortunately, still occupies a learning stage?”
“Democracy, religion, education and terrorism have all become practicable norms all over the world – thanks to globalization”
“An economy funded by subsidy is no economy in an ideal sense.”
“Many Nigerians get excited when the government execute such projects as newly constructed schools, roads, health centers and other government funded projects which they tag as developmental projects. They get excited over what they perceive as a performing government carrying out its corporate responsibilities. But they are ignorant of the fact that public funds cannot disappear in a vacuum, it has to be accounted for; therefore contracts must be awarded to make the stealing legal and official. Yet, the people only wish that more of such projects can be executed; they fail to understand that with a defective procurement process in place, the more projects a government executes under this abnormal process; the more kickbacks its officials receive, the more money is stolen, the more corruption is patronized. In fact, under our present abnormal procurement process, the more project a government executes, the more money its officials steal through each contract inflation and kickbacks. If we therefore do not fix our public procurement lapses; stealing through contract inflation and kickbacks will become an inevitable and official act of corruption as it has seemingly already become!”
“The issue of gay is at the heart of the human rights struggle. The decision of two consenting male adults to engage in marital affair should be a personal decision and not the decision of the state inasmuch as their relationship does not infringe on the rights of another. The state should mind its business and let the individual's mind theirs”
“It seems even more worrisome that the world has become even more integrated to the extent that a country that fails to produce its own basic consumables will end up consuming its whole income in outsourcing them.”
“Without doubt, our inability to design and implement a sustainable economic framework has resulted to our present ranking on the globalization index; a precious market to the productive countries.”
“Since Nigeria has refused to fully embrace the present reality as it is, that is; the importance of science and technology, the redundancy of religion, the need for pragmatic international relations, economic reforms, support of entrepreneurship spirit, etc., but rather, has continued to accept the world the way it has choose to see it, that is; the supremacy of supernatural belief over human intelligence, the sacredness of tribalism, the abuse of democratic tenets, inability to appreciate scientific truth, its desire to be lifelong importer of finished products, etc., all of which have become our reality, then one would imagine how soon we can attain self-reliance.”
“Can this Nigeria, without external support, bake her own bread, sew her own garments, drill her own oil, produce her own cars, fly her own planes, design her own cities and, fight her own wars? What can this Nigeria do? Or does development come through stages and Nigeria, unfortunately, still occupies a learning stage?”
“Democracy, religion, education and terrorism have all become practicable norms all over the world – thanks to globalization”
“An economy funded by subsidy is no economy in an ideal sense.”
“Many Nigerians get excited when the government execute such projects as newly constructed schools, roads, health centers and other government funded projects which they tag as developmental projects. They get excited over what they perceive as a performing government carrying out its corporate responsibilities. But they are ignorant of the fact that public funds cannot disappear in a vacuum, it has to be accounted for; therefore contracts must be awarded to make the stealing legal and official. Yet, the people only wish that more of such projects can be executed; they fail to understand that with a defective procurement process in place, the more projects a government executes under this abnormal process; the more kickbacks its officials receive, the more money is stolen, the more corruption is patronized. In fact, under our present abnormal procurement process, the more project a government executes, the more money its officials steal through each contract inflation and kickbacks. If we therefore do not fix our public procurement lapses; stealing through contract inflation and kickbacks will become an inevitable and official act of corruption as it has seemingly already become!”
“The issue of gay is at the heart of the human rights struggle. The decision of two consenting male adults to engage in marital affair should be a personal decision and not the decision of the state inasmuch as their relationship does not infringe on the rights of another. The state should mind its business and let the individual's mind theirs”
Bamigboye Olurotimi
“Bill Gate has done what he could to fight POLIO, HIV/AIDS,PNEUMONIA,
TUBERCULOSIS, MALARIA, POVERTY and other INFECTIOUS DISEASES in Nigeria
and the rest of the world. But we are still facing all these problems
more than before, because ''you can't put money meant for the right
course of action in the hands of criminals, rogues and thieves and
expect to see positive changes or results.”
Helen Oyeyemi, The Icarus Girl
“Finally, he smiled, and although his smile was bumpy because some of
his teeth were jagged and broken, it was a warming, infectious smile
that was reflected in his eyes. It made her smile widely in return. She
felt as if the room had been lit up. He held out his arms, and she went
across the room to him, almost running. She buried her face in his
shirt, her nose wrinkling up as the scent of his cologne mixed with the
nutty, sourish smell of camphor that filled the room. He put his arms
around her, but gently, so that there was space between his forearms and
her back, holding her as if she was to fragile to hug properly.
Awkwardly, he patted her light, bushy aureole of dark brown hair,
repeating: "Good girl. Fine daughter.”
Emi Iyalla
“Everybody looks at oil and almost entirely forget that the percentage
of jobs the oil sector creates is relatively small compared to the
population; the introduction of more sophisticated exploration methods
makes it even worse. Oil companies now look for smarter, leaner and
cheaper operations. Where will these leave the economy? Good disposable
income to the government with no real value to the people of the Niger
Delta.”
Emi Iyalla
“The Niger delta as a matter of urgency needs to re-think its
development strategy by developing her non-oil sectors. There is no
easy way out of this, and we will all see that at the end it is the only
way out.”
Emi Iyalla
“None of this is to deny that the Niger Delta has made mistakes. It has,
and a good number at that. But then, mistakes are made to make wiser
and therefore help in better decision making.”
Valerie Owens, America Huh I'm Going Home
“To those who are struggling. To talk about a struggle, you're likely
to forget about it. To be shown a struggle, you're likely not to forget
it. But, to live through a struggle, you'll understand it.”
Bamigboye Olurotimi
“You can't put money meant for the right course of action in the hands
of criminals, rogues and thieves and expect to see positive changes or
results.”
Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha
“Girls are pearls, ladies are rubies, mothers are moulders, and women are wonderful.”
Michael Bassey Johnson
“The sweetness that lures youths into criminality and all forms of
misdemeanour is that, the future of militants and all the revolutionary
sects are far more brighter than those suffering in universities and
colleges.”
Orji Uzor Kalu
“A good businessman must have nose for business the same way a
journalist has nose for news. In places where people see a lot of
obstacles, I see a lot of opportunities. A good businessman sees where
others don’t see.”
Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha
“It is the duty of youths to war against indiscipline and corruption because they are the leaders of tomorrow.”
Michael Bassey Johnson
“Terrorism will never cease in a country where the so-called leaders are criminals and terrorists in disguise.”
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah
“Alexa and the other guests, and perhaps even Georgina, all understood
the fleeing from war, from the kind of poverty that crushed human souls,
but they would not understand the need to escape from the oppressive
lethargy of choicelessness. They would not understand why people like
him who were raised well fed and watered but mired in dissatisfaction,
conditioned from birth to look towards somewhere else, eternally
convinced that real lives happened in that somewhere else, were now
resolved to do dangerous things, illegal things, so as to leave, none of
them starving, or raped, or from burned villages, but merely hungry for
for choice and certainty.”
And I'm just wondering.....
Who is Alexandra Shipp? what's with this new company called box? what about Tom Brady's press conference cos I'm really trying to make sense of the news. what will happen now that King Abdullah is dead and thousands have said farewell? Will the oil market slump further or will it remain stable like the new King has promised? wow at Will Ferrel's video (although i haven't watched that). who is meat lover, Charlotte McKinney and what does she have to offer the world? what are the ratings on “Mortdecai, the new Johnny Depp Movie and can someone give me free tickets? I'm crying about the edge water fire as i write this though. sorry to all those who suffered loss. finally, what's with Europeans and Adrian Chiles?
for my Nigerians, what's with Buhari's fake certificate?
for my Nigerians, what's with Buhari's fake certificate?
.jpg)
Got out of 5 year long abusive relationship - being free is everything I'd ever hoped it would be. Happiest I've ever been in my life. If you're being abused, (male OR female) PLEASE realize life can get better! Leave!
credit: /r/noMoreAbuse
Hi,
I really wanted to share this, and was not sure if there was a domestic
abuse subreddit. Here and there I have seen posts on twox about people
who are stuck in abusive relationships. Sorry for the length
I recently got out a 5 year long abusive relationship. I grew up in an abusive house, so I suppose it is no shock. I was 18 when I got wit him. At first things were great. I should have noticed the red flags early on (he did not want me to wear short sleeved shirts, that was the first, I thought, OK, if I'm a good partner I will make him comfortable). Little things like this slowly escalated in to a little shove here and there if I made him mad, then verbal abuse (slut/whore/bitch/dumbfuck, bitch was his favorite) like an idiot I wrote all these off to "he has a bad temper, and I set him off". It eventually came to all out physical abuse, hitting, slapping, shoving me into the walls. Threats to kill me. By then I was a few years in to it and my self esteem was so shot I assumed it was all my fault. Sexual abuse. I didn't give it to him when he wanted it, no matter what my mood, our evening would descend in to a night of him yelling at and berating me for being a bitch who always tried to make him mad at me. At first I put up with the fights, later I would just give in, and have sex whenever he wanted. I would just stare at the wall and wait for it to pass. This was the worst part of the relationship, more than the physical and emotional abuse to me.
This may make me sound stupid, but,, I never believed any of this at all was abuse. A lot of this is common in our culture, so I thought, this is not abuse, I thought, how can you draw the line for what is abusive and what is not? Don't all relationships have ups and downs and problems? Nothing is that black and white! I would read descriptions about abusive partners and think "those people sound like bad people, but my SO is just a good guy trapped in a bad situation, so this is not the same thing! Our situation is more complicated than that! This is not abuse!" Furthermore, he DID love me greatly, which made me even more convinced it was not abuse. This made me afraid to leave because I thought, how can I leave a man that loves me? What if they are all wrong about abuse, and everyone is this way, and I will be throwing away the best thing I ever had? But I would fantastise for years, whenever he was in one of his angry moods (which were daily), about what life would be like if I didn't have to deal with it.
Well, finally I got out a few months ago. What finally made me end it was realizing, if I had kids wit him, he would abuse them. Not having to deal with all this is everything I'd hoped it would be all those years. I am finally free. I live my life to the fullest now and am so happy. I have no desires for any relationship now, but maybe one day I will, and when that comes, I will never be so stupid as to cling to a relationship simply because someone loves me. I have learned that someone can love you and not be good for you. Also, I found that once I was out of the relationship, the happiness I felt from being free far outweighed any sadness I felt from missing him, making the moving on very simple. It did not at all hurt like I'd feared it would. I realized I had stupidly made a monster out of a molehill.
Well, I just wanted to say, if you're in an abusive relationship, please don't make the mistake I made and stay for 5 years of your life. I can never get that time back. I lost everything. I do not even know who I am now. I find myself a shell of a person while others my age know who they are. I am just now finding myself. It WILL hurt to end your relationship, but what you're doing now by staying with your partner is like ripping the bandaid slowly off instead of just giving it a tug and dealing with the pain in one second.
You WILL be happier in the long run.
EDIT: Wow, left for a few hours came back to find so many people read my post. Thanks twox!
I recently got out a 5 year long abusive relationship. I grew up in an abusive house, so I suppose it is no shock. I was 18 when I got wit him. At first things were great. I should have noticed the red flags early on (he did not want me to wear short sleeved shirts, that was the first, I thought, OK, if I'm a good partner I will make him comfortable). Little things like this slowly escalated in to a little shove here and there if I made him mad, then verbal abuse (slut/whore/bitch/dumbfuck, bitch was his favorite) like an idiot I wrote all these off to "he has a bad temper, and I set him off". It eventually came to all out physical abuse, hitting, slapping, shoving me into the walls. Threats to kill me. By then I was a few years in to it and my self esteem was so shot I assumed it was all my fault. Sexual abuse. I didn't give it to him when he wanted it, no matter what my mood, our evening would descend in to a night of him yelling at and berating me for being a bitch who always tried to make him mad at me. At first I put up with the fights, later I would just give in, and have sex whenever he wanted. I would just stare at the wall and wait for it to pass. This was the worst part of the relationship, more than the physical and emotional abuse to me.
This may make me sound stupid, but,, I never believed any of this at all was abuse. A lot of this is common in our culture, so I thought, this is not abuse, I thought, how can you draw the line for what is abusive and what is not? Don't all relationships have ups and downs and problems? Nothing is that black and white! I would read descriptions about abusive partners and think "those people sound like bad people, but my SO is just a good guy trapped in a bad situation, so this is not the same thing! Our situation is more complicated than that! This is not abuse!" Furthermore, he DID love me greatly, which made me even more convinced it was not abuse. This made me afraid to leave because I thought, how can I leave a man that loves me? What if they are all wrong about abuse, and everyone is this way, and I will be throwing away the best thing I ever had? But I would fantastise for years, whenever he was in one of his angry moods (which were daily), about what life would be like if I didn't have to deal with it.
Well, finally I got out a few months ago. What finally made me end it was realizing, if I had kids wit him, he would abuse them. Not having to deal with all this is everything I'd hoped it would be all those years. I am finally free. I live my life to the fullest now and am so happy. I have no desires for any relationship now, but maybe one day I will, and when that comes, I will never be so stupid as to cling to a relationship simply because someone loves me. I have learned that someone can love you and not be good for you. Also, I found that once I was out of the relationship, the happiness I felt from being free far outweighed any sadness I felt from missing him, making the moving on very simple. It did not at all hurt like I'd feared it would. I realized I had stupidly made a monster out of a molehill.
Well, I just wanted to say, if you're in an abusive relationship, please don't make the mistake I made and stay for 5 years of your life. I can never get that time back. I lost everything. I do not even know who I am now. I find myself a shell of a person while others my age know who they are. I am just now finding myself. It WILL hurt to end your relationship, but what you're doing now by staying with your partner is like ripping the bandaid slowly off instead of just giving it a tug and dealing with the pain in one second.
You WILL be happier in the long run.
EDIT: Wow, left for a few hours came back to find so many people read my post. Thanks twox!
If you sleep with him on the first date, he won't respect you and you'll ruin your chances at establishing a long term relationship
credit: /r/justice_warrior on reddit
I'm
sure we've all heard this advice at one point or another. There are a
few things about it that strike me as anti-third-wave and sex-negative:
- It suggests to use the availability of sex as a carrot-on-a-stick, or a bargaining chip. Bad way to start things off.
- It assumes men are all horny animals and will have sex with you, provided you allow it. This is that same tired argument that women can get sex just by snapping their fingers.
- It assumes there is some kind of intrinsic respect that is due to a woman who keeps her legs closed. Those who stray from this path are not worthy of respect. In other words, slut shaming
- We all know that women enjoy sex just as much as men do, so why don't we give this advice to men?
- The type of guy who would consent to having sex AND THEN disrespect the woman for doing it, is not the type of person you'd want to be in a long term relationship with anyway!
All the Papers Lied Tonight BY /r/NoSleep-Throwaway on Reddit
i stumbled on this while at work today and decided to share....
God, I hope I'm just going crazy.
You ever had one of those "how in the hell did I get here" moments? I mean those flashes of clarity where you really see your life. You look in the mirror and you’re so far removed from the person you dreamed of being when you were a kid that you're stunned speechless.
Mine happened about a year ago, a week or two before Thanksgiving, when I woke up in the hospital. I was incredibly disoriented; everything seemed unreal and distant, not really happening to me… like I was dreaming, or an avatar in a video game.
Maybe it was because I already felt so disconnected... maybe it was the terrifying reminder of my own mortality… but it felt like I was seeing myself with a stranger’s eyes. Waves of shame and self-hatred rolled over me in that hospital bed, and I vowed to change my life.
I’d made similar resolutions before and failed miserably, but this time was different.
This time, the change was nearly effortless: old habits evaporated, old temptations lost all allure. Peer pressure stopped being an issue, because I just wasn’t interested in hanging out with my usual group; when I tried going out with them sober, they bored me to tears.
Meanwhile, other relationships in my life were improving. At my son Logan’s birthday party, I even overheard my ex-husband telling his mother that I’d finally grown up and stopped causing so much heartache for everyone.
When the last children had left and I was cleaning up, my son surprised me with a running hug. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me harder than he ever had in his life.
"Will you stay?" he whispered.
I brushed back his hair with my hand. “Of course! I’ll stay as long as you want. You could even spend the night at my place tonight, if your Dad says it's okay."
He sighed happily. “You're so much better than my real mom.”
Every cell in my body froze.
I launched into a speech about how I was his Mom, was trying to change, knew I needed to earn his trust back, etc.
"Okay!” he said lightly, obviously eager to return to his pile of presents.
But just before he ran off... he winked at me, like we had an awesome secret.
Logan couldn't stay with me that night after all... and honestly, I was kind of relieved. What he'd said had cut me to the core, and for the first time in nearly a year, I desperately wanted a drink.
I made it all the way to the front door of my apartment complex before I lost it and started sobbing. I was fumbling in my purse for my keys, trying to see through a glaze of tears, when Sam put his hand on my shoulder.
Sam had lived in the apartment next door to mine for years. Before my epiphany, I’d barely spared him a glance… but after, I’d found myself choking on cartoon butterflies whenever he passed by.
I’d never had to chase a guy before. It’s not that I’m Angelina Jolie or anything, it’s just that I used to spend an enormous amount of time and money making myself look nothing like myself. You've seen the old me, or one of my countless clones: a golem of silicone and acrylic, spangles and bleach. It was a lot like being a zombie, I suppose; you can barely move for fear that parts of you will fall off.
Back on point: I’d been trying to catch Sam’s eye for months, and I was terrible at it. I'd chat him up and think I was getting somewhere... but then I'd make a joke, or quote a movie, and he'd cringe like I'd just stabbed him.
It was a humiliating way to have finally caught his attention... bawling like an angry toddler on the front steps, miserably wiping snot on my sleeve as I blubbered confessions for a million sins.
Sam listened patiently, only stopping me once to suggest we get out of the cold and continue talking in his apartment.
He drank me under the table. I'd lost all my tolerance in a year of sobriety, but Sam definitely didn't have that problem. When I got up to get us both another, it was easy to see why: his refrigerator looked like mine used to, boasting the four food groups of beer, liquor, takeout, and antique condiments.
"Did your roommate move out?" I asked, carrying our beers back from his kitchen. "She was a big cook, right? I used to walk by your place around dinnertime and drool."
"She wasn't my roommate," he said quietly. "She was my wife."
My face fell, and the last year flashed by in sickening instant replay: his total disinterest in me, followed by the pained looks and vanishing act whenever he caught himself flirting back. I'd never bothered to ring-check him until my crush hit.
"If you'd like to talk about it, I'm interested... but I won't pry if you don't. Up to you."
He laughed a little, shaking his head. "It's funny. Emily was usually such a good judge of character... but she was so wrong about you. Sucks that she never got to know you... I think she would have really liked you.”
He changed the subject, and I excused myself soon after.
The next day, curiosity led me to Google his wife. As I read through the results, my eyes widened.
Emily had died the night I'd passed out, and it appeared she might have accidentally saved my life. I spoke with a neighbor and confirmed that my guess was right... the EMT's who responded to Sam's 911 call had been the ones who found me. Since they'd been called out for just one patient and only had one ambulance, they'd put me on a board and hung it on hooks from the ambulance ceiling.
I didn't sleep a wink the night I found that out. My stupid drunk ass had hung there a few feet above the worst moments of Sam's life and the last ones of Emily's... the ultimate third wheel, intruding on something incredibly private and intimate.
I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling, imagining what it must have been like for Emily, staring up at a woman she’d thought was a total waste, knowing that I'd wake up and she never would.
I blushed against my pillow, thinking of how I’d hit on him so soon after her death. I couldn’t believe he’d ended up comforting me…
I swore to never flirt with Sam again, and I kept that promise… even as we became friendlier and wound up with a weekly TV-and-Chinese-Food appointment.
I didn't mean to get him a Christmas present. I'd considered it, but written it off as over the line.
Then I went thrifting and saw this pocketknife. It wasn't anything flashy, but something about it just said "Sam" to me. When I picked it up and examined it, the owner came up behind me.
"You've got nice taste, honey," he said. "They don't make 'em like that anymore."
And I smiled, ‘cause that was how I felt about Sam.
But when Sam opened the gift, his face went white.
"Did I... did I tell you about this that night I was so drunk?" he murmured, picking up the knife and turning it in his large fingers. "I must have..."
Sam had inherited one exactly like it from his grandfather. It had gotten lost when he and Emily moved into the building, and he'd felt awful about it.
"Oh, crap... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories..."
"No, no, this is great… I've been trying to find one for long time. Thank you."
I think he meant to peck me on the cheek, but it landed on the corner of my mouth... and the next thing I knew, he was kissing me for real.
It was amazing for about ten seconds… and then he sprang off the couch, stammering that he was sorry, that he'd been overcome...
And then it just poured out of him.
He told me how much I reminded him of Emily, how being with me was so much like being with her that it broke his heart.
"You say things she said, you quote movies she used to quote... Jesus, you wear some of the same clothes. Who puts this green shit on Triscuits? Nobody I've ever met... except you and her."
I didn't reply. I couldn't reply.
"I shouldn't have kissed you. My therapist said..." he broke off with a disgusted noise, sighing deeply before continuing. "I just don't think I can get over her and do this... the dinners with you. I'm not moving on, I'm just… I’m just pretending I don't have to."
He apologized again, and then he was gone.
I stared at the door like an idiot for a few seconds, letting that sink in. He'd left his present on my coffee table, and I bent to pick it up…
You're so much better than my real mom.
Suddenly, pieces were snapping together in my mind, and I kept shaking my head like I could break them apart again. What I was thinking was stupid, crazy, superstitious lunacy...
I'd been a few feet away in the ambulance when she'd died. I'd woken up consumed with self-loathing, turning into a new person almost overnight... one with different hobbies, different opinions, different tastes. Even my own son didn't believe I was me.
So many things falling into place. My instant, extra-strength crush on Sam. My new clothing and hairstyle, so similar to hers in her Facebook photos.
How I'd suddenly decided to take up cooking… and been weirdly good at it.
How I'd never put mint jelly on Triscuits before, and had no idea why I'd even bought it.
How I didn't remember seeing half the movies I was always quoting.
I’ve started seeing a therapist myself. She says I'm trying to distance myself from a past I'm ashamed of… that low self-esteem and my crush on Sam have manifested in me imagining that I'm a person he could love. She thinks maybe I hit my head when I fell, or maybe I have something called depersonalization disorder.
I've read countless stories on Nosleep about hauntings and possessions. You guys are the experts on banishment, rituals, salt and sage and iron…
But what do I do if I’m the ghost?
What in the hell do I do?
God, I hope I'm just going crazy.
You ever had one of those "how in the hell did I get here" moments? I mean those flashes of clarity where you really see your life. You look in the mirror and you’re so far removed from the person you dreamed of being when you were a kid that you're stunned speechless.
Mine happened about a year ago, a week or two before Thanksgiving, when I woke up in the hospital. I was incredibly disoriented; everything seemed unreal and distant, not really happening to me… like I was dreaming, or an avatar in a video game.
Maybe it was because I already felt so disconnected... maybe it was the terrifying reminder of my own mortality… but it felt like I was seeing myself with a stranger’s eyes. Waves of shame and self-hatred rolled over me in that hospital bed, and I vowed to change my life.
I’d made similar resolutions before and failed miserably, but this time was different.
This time, the change was nearly effortless: old habits evaporated, old temptations lost all allure. Peer pressure stopped being an issue, because I just wasn’t interested in hanging out with my usual group; when I tried going out with them sober, they bored me to tears.
Meanwhile, other relationships in my life were improving. At my son Logan’s birthday party, I even overheard my ex-husband telling his mother that I’d finally grown up and stopped causing so much heartache for everyone.
When the last children had left and I was cleaning up, my son surprised me with a running hug. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me harder than he ever had in his life.
"Will you stay?" he whispered.
I brushed back his hair with my hand. “Of course! I’ll stay as long as you want. You could even spend the night at my place tonight, if your Dad says it's okay."
He sighed happily. “You're so much better than my real mom.”
Every cell in my body froze.
I launched into a speech about how I was his Mom, was trying to change, knew I needed to earn his trust back, etc.
"Okay!” he said lightly, obviously eager to return to his pile of presents.
But just before he ran off... he winked at me, like we had an awesome secret.
Logan couldn't stay with me that night after all... and honestly, I was kind of relieved. What he'd said had cut me to the core, and for the first time in nearly a year, I desperately wanted a drink.
I made it all the way to the front door of my apartment complex before I lost it and started sobbing. I was fumbling in my purse for my keys, trying to see through a glaze of tears, when Sam put his hand on my shoulder.
Sam had lived in the apartment next door to mine for years. Before my epiphany, I’d barely spared him a glance… but after, I’d found myself choking on cartoon butterflies whenever he passed by.
I’d never had to chase a guy before. It’s not that I’m Angelina Jolie or anything, it’s just that I used to spend an enormous amount of time and money making myself look nothing like myself. You've seen the old me, or one of my countless clones: a golem of silicone and acrylic, spangles and bleach. It was a lot like being a zombie, I suppose; you can barely move for fear that parts of you will fall off.
Back on point: I’d been trying to catch Sam’s eye for months, and I was terrible at it. I'd chat him up and think I was getting somewhere... but then I'd make a joke, or quote a movie, and he'd cringe like I'd just stabbed him.
It was a humiliating way to have finally caught his attention... bawling like an angry toddler on the front steps, miserably wiping snot on my sleeve as I blubbered confessions for a million sins.
Sam listened patiently, only stopping me once to suggest we get out of the cold and continue talking in his apartment.
He drank me under the table. I'd lost all my tolerance in a year of sobriety, but Sam definitely didn't have that problem. When I got up to get us both another, it was easy to see why: his refrigerator looked like mine used to, boasting the four food groups of beer, liquor, takeout, and antique condiments.
"Did your roommate move out?" I asked, carrying our beers back from his kitchen. "She was a big cook, right? I used to walk by your place around dinnertime and drool."
"She wasn't my roommate," he said quietly. "She was my wife."
My face fell, and the last year flashed by in sickening instant replay: his total disinterest in me, followed by the pained looks and vanishing act whenever he caught himself flirting back. I'd never bothered to ring-check him until my crush hit.
"If you'd like to talk about it, I'm interested... but I won't pry if you don't. Up to you."
He laughed a little, shaking his head. "It's funny. Emily was usually such a good judge of character... but she was so wrong about you. Sucks that she never got to know you... I think she would have really liked you.”
He changed the subject, and I excused myself soon after.
The next day, curiosity led me to Google his wife. As I read through the results, my eyes widened.
Emily had died the night I'd passed out, and it appeared she might have accidentally saved my life. I spoke with a neighbor and confirmed that my guess was right... the EMT's who responded to Sam's 911 call had been the ones who found me. Since they'd been called out for just one patient and only had one ambulance, they'd put me on a board and hung it on hooks from the ambulance ceiling.
I didn't sleep a wink the night I found that out. My stupid drunk ass had hung there a few feet above the worst moments of Sam's life and the last ones of Emily's... the ultimate third wheel, intruding on something incredibly private and intimate.
I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling, imagining what it must have been like for Emily, staring up at a woman she’d thought was a total waste, knowing that I'd wake up and she never would.
I blushed against my pillow, thinking of how I’d hit on him so soon after her death. I couldn’t believe he’d ended up comforting me…
I swore to never flirt with Sam again, and I kept that promise… even as we became friendlier and wound up with a weekly TV-and-Chinese-Food appointment.
I didn't mean to get him a Christmas present. I'd considered it, but written it off as over the line.
Then I went thrifting and saw this pocketknife. It wasn't anything flashy, but something about it just said "Sam" to me. When I picked it up and examined it, the owner came up behind me.
"You've got nice taste, honey," he said. "They don't make 'em like that anymore."
And I smiled, ‘cause that was how I felt about Sam.
But when Sam opened the gift, his face went white.
"Did I... did I tell you about this that night I was so drunk?" he murmured, picking up the knife and turning it in his large fingers. "I must have..."
Sam had inherited one exactly like it from his grandfather. It had gotten lost when he and Emily moved into the building, and he'd felt awful about it.
"Oh, crap... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories..."
"No, no, this is great… I've been trying to find one for long time. Thank you."
I think he meant to peck me on the cheek, but it landed on the corner of my mouth... and the next thing I knew, he was kissing me for real.
It was amazing for about ten seconds… and then he sprang off the couch, stammering that he was sorry, that he'd been overcome...
And then it just poured out of him.
He told me how much I reminded him of Emily, how being with me was so much like being with her that it broke his heart.
"You say things she said, you quote movies she used to quote... Jesus, you wear some of the same clothes. Who puts this green shit on Triscuits? Nobody I've ever met... except you and her."
I didn't reply. I couldn't reply.
"I shouldn't have kissed you. My therapist said..." he broke off with a disgusted noise, sighing deeply before continuing. "I just don't think I can get over her and do this... the dinners with you. I'm not moving on, I'm just… I’m just pretending I don't have to."
He apologized again, and then he was gone.
I stared at the door like an idiot for a few seconds, letting that sink in. He'd left his present on my coffee table, and I bent to pick it up…
You're so much better than my real mom.
Suddenly, pieces were snapping together in my mind, and I kept shaking my head like I could break them apart again. What I was thinking was stupid, crazy, superstitious lunacy...
I'd been a few feet away in the ambulance when she'd died. I'd woken up consumed with self-loathing, turning into a new person almost overnight... one with different hobbies, different opinions, different tastes. Even my own son didn't believe I was me.
So many things falling into place. My instant, extra-strength crush on Sam. My new clothing and hairstyle, so similar to hers in her Facebook photos.
How I'd suddenly decided to take up cooking… and been weirdly good at it.
How I'd never put mint jelly on Triscuits before, and had no idea why I'd even bought it.
How I didn't remember seeing half the movies I was always quoting.
I’ve started seeing a therapist myself. She says I'm trying to distance myself from a past I'm ashamed of… that low self-esteem and my crush on Sam have manifested in me imagining that I'm a person he could love. She thinks maybe I hit my head when I fell, or maybe I have something called depersonalization disorder.
I've read countless stories on Nosleep about hauntings and possessions. You guys are the experts on banishment, rituals, salt and sage and iron…
But what do I do if I’m the ghost?
What in the hell do I do?
OCCASIONALLY, WE ALL GET CAUGHT IN A LIE
It doesn't count well
for any of us when that happens. But far greater implications arise from how we
handle our various episodes of getting caught. Do you stick with the original
lie? Do you confess and seek forgiveness? Do you spin an even-greater lie that
confounds even the wisest? I usually stick with number one and here's why
Some advisers claim
that the best protocol when caught in a lie is to own up immediately. I do not
agree with that line of thinking. If you apologise and seek forgiveness, no one
will forgive you. People aren't that forgiving these days. You will end up
embarrassing and disgracing yourself, your family, all those who are associated
with you, and all those you care about. And that is just so wrong so piss on
that thought. It's a hopeless road to go down.
For information, I
would like to clarify a few facts before we proceed. I have never been caught
in a lie. I don't honestly think I have or have any such memories. The reason
isn't because I'm so perfect that I d not lie, but that I'm generally such a
good liar that whenever I choose to lie, I choose carefully and intelligently
and I never tell stupid lies. I'm that good. And if someday in the future, it
happens that I am caught in a lie, I will not act like Bill Clinton over Monica
Lewinsky where he lied at first and then tried to reverse himself a little
later. It's disgraceful to be that guy. Don't mind Nigerian politicians who
have no shame. I'm a very good bad guy, but they're a much worse breed. Does
anyone remember Jordan Jacobson with the swollen hands?
More lies are
inevitable when you're struggling not to admit a first lie, but be careful with
those. That's a sure path to getting caught. If your original lie was
well-planned in the first place, coming up with additional information that
forms a cohesive whole when added with the earlier lie and to facts confirmed
as true should not be very hard.
As my final thoughts,
I would like to say a few helpful words for learners. Are you a learner?
1. Lying isn't so
horrible. Don't let the guilt get to you. A lot of lies are both necessary and
inevitable.
2. Use a lot of truth
in your lies, but carefully select truths that mislead the listener and causes
him to believe lies you have not explicitly told.
3. Fully understand
the subject and object of your lie before you begin, and keep your facts
clearly outlined both as it affects these two and other subjects or objects
that may become interested or relevant in the future.
4. Don't be caught
off-guard, always be prepared and permanently thinking in the loop of your
lies. If you can manipulate your assailants, you will always win. Lying is
about manipulating facts and people.
5. When faced
with a persistent assailant, use distraction. Give them something seemingly
valuable to occupy themselves with. A conspiracy theory is not good here, but a
false confession might do the trick.
If you encounter
difficulties, I'll be here to help out however I can. If you have more tips and
tricks, do graciously share them with me and other readers. Everybody lies, so
no one needs to play saint here.
List of 81 Projects President Jonathan did for Ndigbo
As Ndigbo welcomes Mr
President to Igboland, below are some of his achievement in the South East -
compiled by Ikechukwu Emeke Onyia
ENUGU STATE:
1. Making of First
International Airport in Igboland: Rehabilitation of the Enugu Airport (New
international airport Terminal).
2.Construction of the
Ongoing Nsukka – Ayangba 132kv Double – Circuit
3. Sure – P Projects
on Primary Health Care (PHC).
4. Reinvention of the
cheapest & Fast means of transport(RAIL) Enugu – PH – Maiduguri Rail
network now functioning. A reduction in road accident.
5. Upgrading of
University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital(UNTH) Enugu to be at par with Lagos
State University Teaching hospital an other premier teaching hospitals with new
imported facilities to commence open – heart surgeries.
6. Approved for
Rehabilitation of Enugu – Port Harcourt Road.
7. Formaling opening
new route to connect Anambra to Abuja within a short distance through Ogrute –
Umuida Road and Unadu to Odoru in Kogi State.
8. Rehabilitation of
Umuna – Ndiagu and Ebenebe Ezeagu Road, Agubuogu through Ebenebe to Iwolo road.
9. $2.57 Billion Dam
Project in Adada River Dam to provide Portable Water, Electricity and
Irrigation for agriculture activities.
10. Federal Government
finance of Ada Rice Irrigation Project at Uzo – Uwani- a first time a sitting
President will give incentives to the rice mill.
11. Erosion control
project- Producing a special ecoogical fund which Anambra State is chief
beneficiary.
12. Export Crop
preservation and Conditioning Centre in Enugu State (One of the 10 constructed
nationwide ).
13.e – wallet System
in the distribution of agricultural inputs to the farmers and Dry Season
Farming Project.
14. Construction of
Irrigation Facilities in Amagunze Rice Product farm Enugu, the first time a
federal government will building its presence there.
15.Establishment of
Enugu State office of the National Productivity Centre.
16. In 2012, FG
Commissioned a Cultural Industry Centre in Inyi Enugu State.
17.Reinstatement of
washout at Km 6 + 750, Km 30 + 400 and Km 35 + 325 along Onitsha- Enugu Dual –
Carriage way in Anambra and Enugu State.
18. Establishment of
Maritime Institute at University of Nigeria Nsukka.
EBONYI STATE:
19.Establishment of a
Federal University in Ndufe – Alike in Ebonyi State to help improve quality of
education in Ebonyi State.
20.Rehabilitation of
43 KM Obiozara – Uburu – Ishiagu Road 37Km Oji – Achi Obeagu – Maku – Awgu –
Ndeabor – Mpu – Okpanku – Akaeze Road rehabilitation.
21.Construction of a
Storey Hostel, Class room building and Procurement at the Federal Government
Girls College Ezembo, Ebonyi State.
22.Sure – P Projects
on Primary Health Centres and others.
23.Rehabilitation of
Abakaliki – Mbok Road.
24.Establishment of a
New Teaching Hospital.
25.e – wallet system
for the Distribution of Agricultural Inputs to the farmers and Dry Season
Farming Project.
26.Ongoing 2x 60MVA,
132/33KV Substation at Amasiri and 2 x 13KV Substation at Abakaliki and
Abakaliki – Amasiri 132KV Double – Circuit Line.
27.Rehabilitation of
Agricultural – Skills Training Centre.
28.Establishment of
National Obstetric Fistula Centre Abakiliki
ANAMBRA STATE:
29. Building of
Aircraft Maintenance School at Akili – Ozuzo, Ogbaru Local Government Area.
30.Construction of
Federal Government Secretariat in Awka.
31.Exploring Public
Private Partnership to Reconstruct Second Niger Bridge (Anambra – Delta
States).
32.FGN Funded
Ecological Projects in Anambra State : Nanka/Oko Landslide Project, the Nkisi
Water Works.
33.Erosion
Control/Dredging Projects in Onitsha, the Okpolo/Ire Ojoto Erosion Control
Project, Alor Town.
34.Flood Control and
Road Improvement Projects in Idemili Local Government Area.
35.Rehabilitation
& completion of Onitsha – Owerri Road to Okija – Ihembosi – Afor – Ukpor –
Ebenator – Ezenifite.
36.Onitsha River Port
– Fixed and ready.
37.National
Transmission Grid installed between Benin and Onitsha to prevent usual
Nationwide Grid collapse.
38.Sure – P Projects on
Primary Health Care & Transformation.
39.e – Wallet System
in the distribution of agricultural inputs to the farmers and Dry Season
Farming.
40.Ongoing Nnewi 2 x
60MVA, 132/33KV Substation 2 x 60MVA, 132/33KV Substation at Oba and 2 x 132KV.
41.Line Bays Extension
at Nnewi, 2 x 60MVA, 132/33KV.
42.Substation at Mpu
with 2 x 60KV Line Bays Extension at Nnenwe.
43.Onitsha – Oba –
Nnewi – Ideato – Okigwe 132KV.
44.Double – Circuit
Line, Ugwuaji Nnenwe 132KV Double – Circuit Line 2 x 60MVA,132/33KV Substation
at Nnenwe.
45.Nnenwe – Mpu 132KV
Double – Circuit Transmission Line, Onitsha – Ifitedunu and 2 x 132KV Double –
Circuit Transmission Line, 2 x 60MVA, 132/33KV Substation at Ifitedunu and 2 x
132KV Line Bays Extension at Onitsha.
46.Modernisation of
Nnamdi Azikwe University Teaching Hospital Nnewi
IMO STATE:
47.NDDC Projects: St
Marks Estate and Federal Housing Estate Internal Road, New Owerri Ejizie –
Izuogu Road in Akeme community of Arondizogu, and the Solar Powered Water
Project at Mbaoma in Owerri North & Owerri Urban Water Scheme Project,
Rehabilitation of Opkpuala – Iguruta Road(Imo and Rivers States),
Reconstruction of Elele – Owerri Road.
48.Sea – Port and
Naval Base Project in Osse – Motor.
49.Community (World
Bank /FGN/Imo state) sponsored project.
50.Construction of
Administrative Complex and Entrepreneurial Studies Complex in Federal
University of Technology Owerri (FUTO).
51.Construction of the
new Federal High Court Owerri division complex.
52.Establishment and
Construction of a Court of Appeal Division in Owerri.
53.14Km Mbaise – Ngwa
Road with a bridge at Imo/ Abia State (Cost ?2.94Billoin).
54.SURE – P Project on
Primary Health Centres and other projects
55.Rehabilitation of
Owerri – Port Harcourt Road
56.Ecological Control
Projects at Nekede, Saint Kzito Secondary School in Muchina and the Umuoza –
Ugri Erosion Control.
57.Rehabilitation of
the Sam Mbakwe International Airport Owerri
58.Egbema Power Plant
(338MW)
59.e-wallet System in
distribution of the agricultural inputs to the Farmers and Dry Season Farming
Project
60.Ongoing Mbalano 2 x
30/40MVA, 132/33KV Substation and Okigwe 2 x 30/40MVA , 132/133KV Substation
61.Dualisation of Ada
Owerri – Ikot – Ekpene Border Section Phase one in Imo, Abia and Akwa –Ibom States.
62.Construction of
Oguta River Port in Imo State.
63.Completion of
Alaoji Power Plant (1074MW).
64.SURE – Projects on
Primary Health Care (PHC) and others.
65.MDG Projects ( in
partnership with the state Government) 250 Health Centres and 10 Solar Powered.
66.Water Boreholes
completed and commissioned.
ABIA STATE
67.Rehabilitation of
the Federal Roads: Mbaise – Ngwa Road with a bridge and Owerri – Aba Road
68.504MW Power Plant
at Aba and 133KVA Substation in Umuahia (Under the Federal Government/Abia
state Partnership Projects).
69.e – wallet system
in the distribution of Agricultural Inputs to the farmers and Dry Season
farming projects.
70.Umuahia – Mbalano
132KV Line.
71.Mbalano 2 x
30/40MVA, 132/33KV Substation.
72.Ohafia 2 x
30/40MVA, 132/33KV Substation and Ohafia – Arochukwu 132KVA Line.
73.Okigwe 2 x 30/40
MVA, 132/33KV Substation.
74.Ongoing Ohafia 2 x
30 /40 MVA, 132/33KV Substation.
75.Umuahia – Ohafia
132KV Single – Circuit Line, Umuahia – Mbalano 132KV Line, Ohafia – Arochukwu
132KV Line.
76.Rehabilitation and
Re – opening of the NNPC depot at Aba after 6years of closure.
77.Rehabilitation and
Construction of Goodluck Jonathan Barrack in Ohafia
.
78.Establishment of
Abia State Office of the National Productivity Centre.
79.Rehabilitation of
Agricultural Skills Training Centre.
80.NDDC – Obehia –
Azumini – Ukanafun Road (Abia – Akwa Ibom) Roads Projects.
81.Construction of a
storey building for 136 Inmates at Aba Prison.
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